Why did the parasitoid only donate to radio stations led by intelligent radio personalities?
Because the parasitoid's distribution was inversely dependent on local host density.
You know certain models of ecological succession are hypocritical because the most tolerant individuals are also the best at excluding others.
What's the difference between fire and the water vapor produced by the dorm showers?
One triggers the dorm fire alarm and the other promotes the establishment of conifers.
Showing posts with label Niche Jokes With Benjamin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Niche Jokes With Benjamin. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 2, 2016
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
Niche Jokes With Benjamin: The Niche Joke Rises
What's the difference between eradicating invasive species and my dorm's drying machine?
One is expensive and ineffective and the other involves eradicating invasive species.
What's the similarity between university lectures and withdrawing cash from foreign ATMs?
They both involve taking notes while paying exorbitant fees.
What did the international student say when he saw a jar of Marmite?
I Marmite not eat that.
One is expensive and ineffective and the other involves eradicating invasive species.
What's the similarity between university lectures and withdrawing cash from foreign ATMs?
They both involve taking notes while paying exorbitant fees.
What did the international student say when he saw a jar of Marmite?
I Marmite not eat that.
Monday, July 13, 2015
Niche Jokes With Benjamin: Microbio Edition
What sort of movies do infectious bacteria watch?
Biofilms.
What network do bacteria use to watch biofilms?
PBS.
What's the difference between a standard deviation of 1% and these jokes?
One is good and the others are jokes.
Biofilms.
What network do bacteria use to watch biofilms?
PBS.
What's the difference between a standard deviation of 1% and these jokes?
One is good and the others are jokes.
Friday, March 27, 2015
Niche Jokes With Benjamin Rebooted
Why did phytochemists study 3/8 when it started running in circles?
Because it was an active fraction.
What do you call it when microbes living in the human gut purchase a tiny house?
A microbe-buy-home.
Why didn't the penicillin let the plumber install bathroom plumbing?
It was anti-septic.
Because it was an active fraction.
What do you call it when microbes living in the human gut purchase a tiny house?
A microbe-buy-home.
Why didn't the penicillin let the plumber install bathroom plumbing?
It was anti-septic.
Thursday, November 20, 2014
Niche Jokes With Benjamin: Taxonomy
Why did the botanist throw away the basket woven out of rushes?
Because it was a piece of Juncus.
What did the botanists do when they saw the large, perennial grass?
They began to Panicum.
Which island has the most papyrus?
Cyprus (Cyperus).
Because it was a piece of Juncus.
What did the botanists do when they saw the large, perennial grass?
They began to Panicum.
Which island has the most papyrus?
Cyprus (Cyperus).
Sunday, October 12, 2014
The Return of Niche Jokes With Benjamin
Why was the baker unable to rotate?
He had just formed a pie bond.
What did the sheep say when he bought a computer game for full price and then got all his wool shaved off?
"I got fleeced and then I got all my wool shaved off."
Why was Mark worried when the ecologists began a population study?
They were doing a capture-mark-recapture experiment.
He had just formed a pie bond.
What did the sheep say when he bought a computer game for full price and then got all his wool shaved off?
"I got fleeced and then I got all my wool shaved off."
Why was Mark worried when the ecologists began a population study?
They were doing a capture-mark-recapture experiment.
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Niche Jokes With Benjamin: Reloaded
Why are DNA primers so pious?
Because they're always annealing.
Why did the CEO use subjunctive forms when reassuring an unemployed Santa during a job interview?
He was employing a doubting clause.
What's the difference between an Emory student who likes to eat after 10 PM and a horse?
One lives mostly on oats, and the other's a horse.
Because they're always annealing.
Why did the CEO use subjunctive forms when reassuring an unemployed Santa during a job interview?
He was employing a doubting clause.
What's the difference between an Emory student who likes to eat after 10 PM and a horse?
One lives mostly on oats, and the other's a horse.
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Even More Niche Jokes With Benjamin
How are Wolverine and a CX4 odr-7 C. elegans worm alike?
They're both influenced by a mutant Jean.
Why didn't the kid in elementary school ever use the pluperfect tense of the subjunctive?
He was in the primary sequence.
Why did the indicator solution change color when the cafeteria closed during spring break?
It was undergoing tight rations.
They're both influenced by a mutant Jean.
Why didn't the kid in elementary school ever use the pluperfect tense of the subjunctive?
He was in the primary sequence.
Why did the indicator solution change color when the cafeteria closed during spring break?
It was undergoing tight rations.
Friday, December 13, 2013
More Niche Jokes With Benjamin
One exam down, three more to go. Here are some of the it-was-funny-at-the-time products of my past few days of studying:
Why didn't the lysosome function when it saw the net equation of photosynthesis?
It was too basic.
Why was the Latin verb telling everyone what to do?
It was in a bad mood.
What's the difference between a rotating metronome placed on a stack of worksheets and a stressed student?
The metronome always turns in assignments on time.
That last one is slightly depressing, so I think I'll get back to studying now. Things are going well, but I'll be glad when these exams are finished.
UPDATE: Have to add this gem from someoldjokes.tumblr.com:
That book title, though.
Why didn't the lysosome function when it saw the net equation of photosynthesis?
It was too basic.
Why was the Latin verb telling everyone what to do?
It was in a bad mood.
What's the difference between a rotating metronome placed on a stack of worksheets and a stressed student?
The metronome always turns in assignments on time.
That last one is slightly depressing, so I think I'll get back to studying now. Things are going well, but I'll be glad when these exams are finished.
UPDATE: Have to add this gem from someoldjokes.tumblr.com:
From Cambridge Jests: Or, Witty Alarums for Melancholy Spirits by a Lover of Ha, Ha, He, 1721
That book title, though.
Friday, November 22, 2013
Niche Jokes With Benjamin
Only take out a crossword puzzle if it would be socially acceptable to be using your phone in the same situation.
What did the ribosome say to the intron? tl;dr
My "unlimited" meal plan.
What did the ribosome say to the intron? tl;dr
My "unlimited" meal plan.
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