Thursday, November 28, 2013

Airplane Drinks

Hey, Benjamin here. I'm slightly dazed from a day of travel, but Chris can't think of anything useful right now, which leaves the daily post to me. Let's just get straight down to it. Here's why I always drink tomato juice when I'm on an airplane:
Water is too plain. Sure, you can ask for a cup of water and a cup of something else, but getting just water by itself is like going to a fancy restaurant and only eating the little crackers that come with the soup.
Orange juice can be too sour and rough on the throat. This varies from airline to airline, but is it really worth risking your laryngeal, pharyngeal, glottal, and tracheal comfort for a breakfast drink? (Confession time, I just googled 'throat adjective') That little cart of refreshment isn't going to come by again for another half hour at least.
Apple juice is a safe bet, but if you're taking an overnight flight and go to sleep after imbibing the juices of the apple, you may wake up with a sour or bitter taste in your mouth. I do, at least.
Coca-cola used to be my fall-back option on planes, as it was one drink they were sure to have, but it is in the same class as apple juice- prepare to wake up with gritty teeth.
I don't get alcohol because I'm underage, in some places at least. More importantly, I wouldn't know what to ask for. This terrifying conversation has played out in my mind too many times:
Me: I would like some wine.
Flight Attendant: What kind of wine?
Me: Uh... wine. I would like some wine.
Flight Attendant: I'm sorry, I didn't catch that.
Me: Wine?
Flight Attendant: You don't have any sense of culture, do you? Here, here's some milk in a sippy cup. I'll bring a coloring book if you're extra good.
Because of all this and more, I ask for tomato juice. It's definitely not something I get every day, so it makes flying more special. Sometimes you get salt and pepper or hot sauce in your juice, and you can feel classy stirring your drink and staring out the window. And slightly less classy as you start to eat the ice cubes, one by one. Or is that just me?


  1. That epic moment when my entire soul can identify with what you write!

  2. Loved the 'ordering wine' dialog - good comedic writing,

  3. There's just a red wine and a white wine. If you want to be difficult ask for a rose (put an accent aiguille on the end of ros-é)