7_Dan_7 ran, stumbling in the mud and occasionally glancing back at the angry cow lumbering after him. He was only fourteen, but in more trouble than anyone his level ought to be. Sprinting towards the nearest fence, he leapt and almost made it all the way over, catching his foot and tumbling to the ground on the other side.
The enraged cow paced back and forth on the other side of the fence, then gave up and resumed grazing. 7_Dan_7 wiggled on the ground a little, then gingerly picked himself up. He was standing face to face with Alt1tude, the biggest kid in the neighborhood.
Alt1tude and his pals were collectively a few shards short of a godsword, but their slightly dense word was enforced as law in the cowfields north of Lumbridge. Alt1tude looked 7_Dan_7 up and down. “You’re the biggest n00b I’ve ever seen, 7_Dan_7.”
His cronies joined in. “Yeah, go back to Tutorial Island.”
“Can’t even fight a cow!”
“Your DPS is lower than everyone’s health regen rate!”
Alt1tude clapped a hand on 7_Dan_7’s shoulder and pulled him close. “Go fight a chicken, bro.” The Alt1tude gang exploded into laughter and high-fived all round as they ambled away, around the barn. A second later, Alt1tude poked his head around the corner. “Seriously, bro, you can get a lot of money from the feather drops. N00b.”